The One That Got Away (or why you should never take expensive lipsticks on a night out)

lipstick flatlay

I have learned, in my 22 years of life, that some things are just not meant to be. Sometimes things happen, so far out of your control that they leave you wondering if you’re not just in some random Sim’s game being controlled by a slightly sadistic 14 year old. 

Other times, things happen that are completely your own fault and make you question your ability to perform basic human tasks. 

Like not losing important and/or expensive things. 

Especially if those things are gifts. 

There was a time, when in my tiny baby lip product collection I had a very pretty, very shiny, very baby-pink-and-silver tube of gorgeous coral-tinted lip stain. To some, it may not be the most expensive of products, but it was the only Dior item I’d even owned, and it was given to me as a gift. I loved it. It’s a fab item to have in your collection, the Dior Addict Lip Glow, beautiful, even, and I wore it out multiple times before The Event. 

It occurred in Korea, around this time two years ago, perhaps a little more into April than March, but I’m not sure on the exact dates and honestly I’m surprised they’re not burned into my memory as that time you did a really dumb thing, though it started off happily enough. 

Myself and my partner in Korea-related escapades were off on a regular weekend night out: meet at Uplex, get a taxi to Cheongdam or Apgujeong Rodeo, hit up our favourite bar for pre’s before heading to our fave Gangnam club. It was going to be a fab night – the game plan was set, and the weather had started to warm up, which after the nightmare that is Korean winter is always appreciated. We arrived, sorted our entry, chatted, put our jackets and larger bags into a locker. I tend not to take much into a club with me, phone and purse at best – easier to hold on to, less chance of people lifting things – with my beautiful Dior Lip Glow wedged beside my mini concealer from A’pieu to tidy any makeup mishaps down the line, and a lollipop because I am that girl you all hate in clubs.

That was my first mistake. 

The night went on, the club got busier, warmer, it was harder to move and the bff and I never seemed to be without a drink in our hand or someone to talk to (drink responsibly). Neither of us had had to employ the ‘bathroom’ tactic to get out of a conversation or a table arrangement we didn’t want to be in, which is fab, but also meant I hadn’t had a chance to check my face hadn’t fallen off – Korean products are fab at withstanding temperature, but heaving clubs are still a challenge – and it was getting to that time in a night out when you kinda feel the need to ‘break the seal’. 

At this point you’re probably thinking ‘I know where this is going’…. annnnnnnnd you’re probably right.

But it doesn’t happen in the way you expect. 

Despite it being Peak Club Time, the Dj smashing out banger after banger, and walking past 3 firework-taped bottles of champagne, the queue for the ladies wasn’t that bad. We still had to wait, and the state of the loos was not the prettiest, but I was done and back at the sinks to wash hands, touch up my makeup and wait for the bestie pretty quickly – my club outfits are minimal fuss… minimal pockets. 

So there I was, touching up my makeup in the ridic well lit bathroom when I see a very distressed Korean girl come into the toilets. No one came chasing after her and she wasn’t looking for anyone,  and I get very concerned about the safety of other girls when I have a few drinks, so I very gently asked if she was ok. She wasn’t, and her mascara was making a valiant effort indeed to see what her chin was up to. The bestie had returned at this point, and was trying to calm her down while I went to grab some paper towels. 

But they were all out of paper towels, and the bathroom attendant had gone to get another roll, and some more cleaning stuff for one of the cubicles. 

The only free cubicle that had loo roll available to grab. 

Mistake number two was a pocketless outfit. 

Mistake number three was probably taking my purse with me those 5 steps to grab loo roll. 

Mistake number four was definitely not putting the expensive lipbalm in a secure position. 

Mistake number five was probably leaning over to grab that loo roll. 

Because when you lean over and you’re also trying to balance things, it’s very easy to watch expensive lip products slip off, and fall into utterly disgusting toilet bowls. 

Yep. I dropped a £24 designer brand lipbalm down the toilet. 

I’m a mess. 

The girl was OK though: we got her cleaned up, had a chat, made sure she was safe and that her friends came to collect her, and I silently mourned the loss of a perfect lip product. Thankfully, I’ve never repeated the incident. I don’t think I could live with doing that again. Have I learned from my mistakes?  Probably not. 

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6 responses to “The One That Got Away (or why you should never take expensive lipsticks on a night out)”

  1. Noor Unnahar says:

    Oh my god! This is breaking my heart. I would have broken down with a mouth posture of "O". A DIOR LIP BALM WHAAAAAAA!??!?! I hope it never ever happens again.Noor | Noor's Place

    • Fii Cridland says:

      I think the tipsy state of mind softened the blow a little. Safe to say the next morning I was DEVASTATED. Same. It hasn't happened since… but I've also not bought a replacement yet! :')xo

  2. Tamzin Swann says:

    aw noo hahah, I would be gutted!! Always wanted to try them too, but not that one haa! xTamz |

  3. Martha Edwards says:

    This is so devastating, yet completely hilarious at the same time! You poor, poor woman! xMartha Jane |

  4. aimee cottle says:

    Aww no! My friend at university once dropped her phone down the toilet whilst I was waiting for her to be done. She was so gutted and had a 2 1/2 hour journey home before she could get it into rice. It didn't survive. It's so gutting when something like that happens! x x

  5. Ffion Davies says:

    Oh god, I can't imagine dropping a lipstick that cost £24 down the toilet, I would literally have a break down. Still it was so nice of you to make sure she is ok, we should definitely look out for each other out and about in clubs because we can be vulnerable. Being on my own in a club is my worst fear. Well done for helping her!

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