Sometimes I wonder how I managed to run this blog at least more-than-semi-but-not-totally-fully committed during my last two years of uni. It was probably one of the most stressful times of my life; assignments left, right and centre, the physical pain that was DISSERTATION, managing to at least hold down somewhat of a social life, committee commitments, and a job (ish) in the last few months of final year. 

Yet now I can barely manage a post a week and I have, perceivably, considerably more time. 

It’s not that I don’t want to write, or to create, because I do. I love talking about fashion, skincare, and showing you guys Korean beauty products. I love styling outfits for the day and sharing what I’m wearing, or what I’m buying. It sounds like I’m trying to convince myself, but I do care a whole damn lot about this space.  

But I recently, there’s this block I get around posting. Because I feel like I have nothing to say. 

If you know me – or have spent any longer than about 5 minutes with me – having nothing to say sounds like the most odd concept. I can talk. I can talk A Lot. But translating that into a post, a piece of writing with style and substance, is proving to be much harder for me as of late. I’ve always been in the camp of ‘quality, not quantity’, but when the quantity is practically non-existent, who is even looking for the quality? 

I guess it’s kind of a contentious issue, and also one of changing trends and personal preference. What people are, or are not, a fan of. I guess it’s also how much time people have, and what people want to get out of something. But it’s all very quiet, because voicing opinions on the internet is like playing with fire; only the fire is an inferno and you’re almost certainly going to get burned. 

I feel like I have nothing to say because I guess, in part, I’m silencing myself. I see what’s being read, or shared, and because I dub my own content and vision not to fit into that, I think ‘why bother’. It’s a defensive and detrimental move on my part, but sometimes you can’t help but see what’s popular and realise how far away it is from what you’re doing, what you want to do, or what you like. And for the most part, I’m cookie cutter. I’m not a person of colour trying to do amazing things in an industry that routinely and continuously refuses to give them a platform. I’m not really ‘out there’ enough with my fashion choices to be classed as alternative. I’m typical brand mayo. And there’s a lot of mayo around.

That sounds somewhat like I’m saying I’m jealous of people’s struggle to remove the suppression so they can get the basic that is work in a field they’re passionate about. I’m not. I’m absolutely not. Finding words to express what I’m thinking is tough

I feel like there’s a lot of staleness