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Fiixii

October 3, 2017 fashion•ootd•personal•styling

S t a n d a r d – the value of owning your flaws

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

photos by project_s_way – instagram

Almost four years ago I made a pact. It wasn’t a fun, candle-heavy, twilight-timed affair where I ended up initiated into a super cool, witchy circle, and it definitely wasn’t as intense as the blood-pacts you see on TV shows and in films (they look terrifying). It was just me, in my room, during a not-so-great time, making a series of promises to a mirror in an effort to be more mindful and kind to myself, before mindfulness and self-care had been coined as phrases.  Or if they had been, I wasn’t aware of them then.

Making commitments in a negative headspace generally isn’t the best of ideas; there’s a lot of ill feeling being fired off in various directions, goals or targets aren’t always attainable, and if you fall short it can be a slippery descent into The Void. Thankfully, logic, reason, and good old common sense were with me that day, and I was focusing on lessening the damage of my current situation back then, rather than making any life altering plans. I couldn’t change my situation without major issues, but I could change how I reacted to it,  change how I played the hand that was being dealt out to me. It was a little bit of control gained back in a game where I didn’t know what the rules were, and it’s one of those things that I’ve done that have somehow managed to work out quite well for me in the long run.

And it’s to do with my flaws.

If you say you don’t have flaws, you’re lying. Not just to whoever you are talking to, but also to yourself. We all have flaws. Humans, by design, are flawed. We’re designed to grow, to change, to evolve, and that process involves us addressing parts of ourselves that are no longer compatible with the narrative that we want to either be a part of, or portray.

But I’m not going to be rattling off things about surface flaws, those that are to do with appearance – body hang ups in the age of body positivity are issues for another post – instead, I want to talk about internal flaws. Those to do with our personalities, or mentalities, and the importance and real, tangible value that comes with not just acknowledging them, but owning them. 

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

I’m a pretty introspective individual. Sometimes this can be absolutely terrible, I can get very into my own head obsessing over the smallest of things, but it can also be incredibly useful. Being in tune with yourself, your actions and reactions, your attitudes both towards others and you, can grant you such a balancing perspective of how you navigate life. It can help you build stronger friendships, as you can give people a heads up on what you’re currently going through (if you want to), or kinks in your design that you’re aware of.  The ability of introspection allows you to identify the flaws that you have, and then grants you the chance to own them.

And why is owning your flaws valuable? 

Well. Even if they seem like something you’d rather want to hide, shove down into the deepest darkest depths of your core and forget about, I’d urge you not to. Owning your flaws means that people cannot use them to hurt you. Poking and prodding at insecurities is the fallback method for most people trying to get a rise out of those they, for whatever reason, want to hurt. Insecurities are our bare bones, the things we know are there but are desperately trying to hide. They’re a target, one that people find a perverse glee in uncovering and scoring bullseyes. If you own your flaws, you take the target away. You take away the ability for someone to use yourself against you.

Let me frame it for you.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

A scenario. 

Almost four years ago now, I was sat down and had a sizable quantity of myself proverbially cut open, with salt proverbially rubbed into both time-old and super fresh wounds. It was an experience that pretty much numbed me as a person to a lot of what happened in the immediate months after. The flaws I had were picked at and used against me in what I’m assuming was a control mechanism, but I try not to dwell on the specifics. It was an all around rough time and I never wanted to give anyone that ability again, even accidentally.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

So I made a pact with myself. I’d look at all of the things that they said, work out which were true and which I could disregard because ~projections~, then go from there. Had I been able to do this at a time when I was more capable of mental acrobatics, then I think it would’ve been a fab exercise for personal growth. Mostly, it just helped me identify areas of myself that I wanted to work on, and then kick started a pretty dissociative phase.

The dissociation, here, is mildly irrelevant, but since I’m discussing flaws, you can have that one of mine for free: if I’m truly having a shit time I’ll dissociate. Or over-think and then dissociate

Taking that time to really look at the inner workings, even if it was just a precursory glance that first time, did help immensely, though. Once you identify your flaws, and this is the part where I start talking about value, once you know what you’re slightly predisposed to – in the fuck up sense – it makes it very hard for people to be able to use it against you. Suddenly the ‘oh you’re so vain’ comments are met with a ‘I know? And?’ rebuttal, rather than shock, a brief moment of panic, and some cobbled together answer thrust in a very ‘clumsy schoolgirl who just awkwardly dropped all her books in front of the cool kids’ way.

Knowing, and then owning your flaws is one way to be unapologetically yourself.

It also allows you to pick and choose which ones to work on, if you want to. You get to decide which ones are most important to your own development as a human, and how you go about tackling it. Being pushed onto the backfoot because someone came brandishing a specific flaw at you like a weapon doesn’t happen (much) to me any more.

People can’t use my flaws to hurt me anymore. And we all know the insults about appearance and intelligence are the last straws anyone grabs at in a fight.

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

For me, owning my flaws has been pretty instrumental in trying to be a better adult/person . It makes it way more easy to sift through the sorts of people I’d like to be associating myself with, and also makes me a more conscientious and observant friend; I am a very extroverted person and know that I can be A Bit Much, not everyone can deal with that for long periods of time and that’s ok,

grunge tennis skirt outfit seoul fashion blogger disused theme park photoshoot

[what i’m wearing:

Oh wow, Fii is wearing a check tennis skirt, what’s new there???? I do own other clothes, I promise. They’re just super easy to wear and style and are super popular everywhere at the moment sooooo….

This one is from H&M, I picked it up when I was still in England, and it’s had a fair amount of usage already. It’s really easy to style, pair it up with something lighter for summer months, darker for colder months or a more grunge vibe. I thought that it’d be fun to shoot at the disused theme park in Seoul because it has those darker ‘hellchild’ vibes.

I styled it with a long sleeved slogan crop top, since Korea’s crop tee game is insanely strong, and I like offsetting the flippy skirts with tighter tops. This one, though, I got in winter, so the fabric is thick, and this shoot happened at the height of Korean summer. In humidity. I almost died. For the weather now though, it’d be just fine.

The shoes are from one of the shoe shops in Edae, as much as I’d like them to be real Gucci, they’re not. And, as this outfit post is lacking a lot in the way of accessories, I think I’m going to set myself the challenge of accessorising more from now on. Autumn/Winter is the season of fab headwear, and I have my eye on berets again…

Watch this space, I guess.]

Let me know what you think of this outfit, and if you agree that owning your flaws has any value for you! As always, you can find me on my other social media – if you especially want to keep up with my life in Korea then you can follow me on instagram or on youtube!

♥

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Comments

  1. May Cho says

    October 4, 2017 at 3:06 am

    I loved the topic of this post, Fii, and I completely agree. I think, in this case, "flaw" is a subjective term. Being vain and being arrogant are two different things, aren't they? One can be pretty harmless, but the other can harm people. I think if one's "flaw" falls under the latter, owning it and being self-aware is good, but knowing how to control it would be a strength. Not sure if I'm making much sense, but ah well.You look lovely as usual, by the way. Love love love the skirt!May | http://www.themayden.com

    Reply
  2. Little Kaatie says

    October 5, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Fii, I just fall in love with your posts every time. This was so interesting to read and funnily enough I was talking to my work colleagues about my own flaws and what I was doing about them. The whole "yeah-I'm aware of that" attitude really throws folk off but it's important to own it! Keep doing what you're doing!Katie Littlekaatie.com

    Reply
  3. Rosa Fairfield says

    October 10, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    These photographs are amazing and this is such an interesting topic to discuss.http://ohduckydarling.com

    Reply
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fiixii

Seoul based - fashion & skincare
f2 visa
here for the vibes and toast 🍞

hello @ nature i would like to request we dial the hello @ nature i would like to request we dial the humidity down a bit, thank u!!!! 

:)
cafe files 🌸💓🌸 #cafestagram #seoulcafe cafe files 🌸💓🌸 

#cafestagram #seoulcafe #가페스타그램 #카페 #카페그램
it’s not quite coachella but it did the job 💓 it’s not quite coachella but it did the job 💓

#교복 #교복대여 #롯데월드 #롯데월드🎡 #lotteworld
a grid post after what feels like 10 years sorry i a grid post after what feels like 10 years sorry i’ve been uh … busy? 
(my house broke but is now fixed and the seasonal depresso has maybe lifted :) ) 

벚꽃 계절이다!!!!!!!
wearing @nacific_kr x ateez shade ‘untouched’ wearing @nacific_kr x ateez shade ‘untouched’ 
a nice deep shade for cool toned people! 😌 the tint is pretty long lasting and isn’t sticky to wear~ i just like gloss overtop 😊 

내돈내산 ~~ 특전 위해서 ㅋ 

🏷️ 
#nacific #nacificateez #오늘의룩 #ㅇㅇㅌㄷ #뷰티그램
새해복 많이 받으세용 will i post more b 새해복 많이 받으세용 

will i post more because it’s a dragon year? who knows (i will try) 

🏷️ ☁️ 
#ootd #altfashion #jiraikei #오오티디 #옷스타그램
ateez 서울콘 후기~~~~~~~ idiot twins be in t ateez 서울콘 후기~~~~~~~ 
idiot twins be in the pit for both days, sound check for one, battered and a little bit bruised. but it was worth it 💖☺️ 

#ateez #willtopowertour #towardsthelight #에이티즈
come with me to get laser treatment done at 클럽 come with me to get laser treatment done at 클럽미즈라미체의원 (lamiche clinic) in seongpa-gu, seoul ☺️

it was my first time getting this kind of treatment done, so i was nervous, but the staff walked me through everything and the process was simple. They have a full interpretation service if you don’t speak korean, too. 

I had a skin evaluation, and then consultation with Dr. Joo. It was really eye opening (and fully humbling) to see my skin like that, and I was open to letting Dr. Joo make recommendations based on his expertise. I do thoroughly research skincare on my own, but there are some things that creams and actives just cannot do. 

Unfortunately due to work commitments I couldn’t do the full 3-4 hours of treatment that were recommended, but I’m pleased with the results of my treatment anyway! 

treatment: 
- rough extraction (not filmed)
removes sebum and other impurities from pores. This was probably the most painful part for me? but i still felt I was in very good and capable hands. 🥲

lasers: 
- affirm mpx
🎯 appearance of pores, wrinkles, ptosis, deep nasolabial folds, cervical stripes 
- fraxel dual 
🎯 appearance of scarring, wrinkles, ptosis, deep nasolabial folds, cervical stripes 
- new accolade 
🎯 pigmented lesions 
- excel v
🎯 pigmented lesions, vascular lesions, elastic lesion
-revlite c7
🎯 skin surface, wrinkles, scarring, pigmented lesion, pimple pigmentation

other: HA filler, front cheek (volume) 

thoughts: 
the pain was less than i’d thought it would be… though I do have quite a high pain tolerance. I experienced some of the expected scabbing during the next two days as the skin healed, and took the recommended medication to help with the healing process. 

after 2 weeks: 
my skin does have less redness, especially around my nose, and the surface texture looks better! I’ve had a lot of compliments on how my skin is looking recently (despite the cold) so overall I am very pleased. :) 

If you have any questions, let me know and i’ll answer as best i can :) 

#seoulclinic #seouldermatology #koreaskincare #koreadermatology #kskincare #skindermatology #korea #kbeauty #kskincare #southkorea #lamiche #lamicheclinic #lamichedermatology
this barbie got something she wanted, finally. 💋
good morning from the chilly riverside~ even tho good morning from the chilly riverside~ 

even though the weather these days is getting less than toasty (haha), I have been making use of the Seoul bike rental program! 
Ttareungi (따릉기) is super easy to use, you do need an app and internet connection, but the user interface is really intuitive, and you can use it in korean or english. The map tells you how many bikes are at any given location, and renting one is a simple as scanning the qr code on the back, paying 2000 won for 2 hours (1000won for 1 hour, 5000won whole day) and peddling off 💖

(as someone who is terrified of doing something wrong, I was really happy with how easy both rental and return is.) You don’t need an account to use them either. 

(toast isn’t the biggest fan, but he doesn’t like bikes so i’ll give him a pass)

@visitseoul_official 

#따릉기 #seoulbikes #gsm2023  #visitseoul #seoul🇰🇷 #seoullovers #ttareungi #publicbikes #corgisofinstagram
a night(tour) at the museum! The Gyeongbok palac a night(tour) at the museum! 

The Gyeongbok palace night tour is a popular attraction over the summer months, but did you know the National Museum offers guided tours too? 

I went on a guided tour of the museum garden recently, and saw a lot of really interesting structures and treasures of note. Plus it’s nice to spend time outside with the autumn leaves (peak time will probably be around next week!) 

entry to the museum is free, and there are a few different tours you can do both inside and outside of it :) 

#2023gsm #visitseoul #seoul #nationalmuseumofkorea #NMK #seoultravel #seoulexhibition
when the ai gives you an actual jumpscare (the a when the ai gives you an actual jumpscare 

(the app is called epik :) ) 

☁️ ☁️ ☁️ ☁️ 
#aiyearbook #aiyearbooktrend #ai이어북 #이어북 #yearbooktrend
즐거운 추석 보내세용~ Happy chuseok 🥰 즐거운 추석 보내세용~ 
Happy chuseok 🥰

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#whatfiiwore #공가는여우 #한복대여 #hanbokrental #hanbok #visitseoul #seoulkorea
found a whale in the han river 🐳 🐋 (don’ found a whale in the han river 🐳 🐋 

(don’t worry it’s not real! - but it is part of the kcontent festival happening at the 세빛섬 / floating islands at banpo han river park. 

The whale is from Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and you can also see Younghee from Squid Game, and one of the cells from Yumi’s Cells (admittedly I haven’t seen that one…) 

There are other games you can play too, and if you go on a weekend you can craft your own whale) 

:) The festival runs until september 30th! )) 

 @visitseoul_official 
🏷️ 🏷️ 

#2023GSM #VisitSeoul #Seoul
#KContentFestival #HanRiver #Sebitseom #HanRiverPark #Wooyoungwoo #Whale #SquidGame #YumisCells
it’s been a while 😌 .. ☁️ ⛅️ ☁️ it’s been a while 😌

..
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#modelsinkorea #서울패션위크 #외국인모델 #conceptshoot #whatfiiwore #photoshootday #서울모델
summer~~~ has definitely been *hot* this year. Sad summer~~~ has definitely been *hot* this year. Sad to say I definitely haven’t utilised the seasons as much as I wanted to because of work :( I did manage to escape the heat by eating the staple summer dessert (bingsu // 빙수 ) 💖 and chilling in my downtime in cafes! 

I think i’m going to wait a bit a bit for the heat to go down before breaking out the picnic stuff this year 💖 

how do you cool off in the heat ~ 

🏷️ 🏷️ 🏷️ 
@visitseoul_official #gsm2023 #seoulsummer #bingsu #빙수맛집 #빙수 #여름휴가 #seoul #korea #seoulkoreq #2023gsm
tiny girl on a film set 🎥 🍿 This location tiny girl on a film set 🎥 🍿 

This location is @provokeseoul , a repurposed flour mill that was built during the japanese colonial period of korea. These days it doesn’t grind grain, but you might have seen it in music videos and #kdrama scenes! 

Currently this location isn’t open to the public to visit, so thanks @globalseoulmates for organising the tour! But!!! The Provoke team have plans to open to the public in the future to link to Mullae art village~ 

(Last two slides are taken from @xikers_official KOONG performance video, which was filmed here!) 

Do you know any other media Provoke has appeared in? let me know in the comments :) 

@visitseoul_official 

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#gsm2023 #provokeseoul #visitseoul #yeongdeungpo #영등포  #싸이커스 #xikers #서울여행 #kpopmvlocations #kdramalocations #kpoplocation #koreabyme #whatfiiwore
if you’re struggling to reapply your sunscreen t if you’re struggling to reapply your sunscreen throughout the day, then I really suggest you switch so a sun stick. They’re incredibly portable, and, most importantly, no mess!!! The amount of times I’ve had sunscreen explode in my bag… 

This sun stick from @marynmay_official is great for on the go application. It contains peptides and bakuchiol, which are great for helping your skin fight off free radicals that can damage your skin. It’s not greasy, and wears well under makeup. 

It’s been such a great addition to my bag that I actually almost forgot to take it out to make this reel 🥲😅

product courtesy of @nurilounge.official and @marynmay_official 

🌟 ⭐️ 
#vegansunscreen #maryandmay #koreansunscreen #nurilounge #suncare #sunscreen
i made kimbap~ 🫶 Thanks to the Seoul Hallyu A i made kimbap~ 
🫶 
Thanks to the Seoul Hallyu Activites Program I got to go to CJ The Kitchen and experience making Kimbap for the first time ❤️

It wasn’t all smooth sailing but our teacher said my kimbap rolling skills were good 🥹 which … well you can judge for yourself 😂

It was a lot of fun, and there are a lot of different activities to try out on the Hallyu program that unfortunately I didn’t get to do because of my work schedule. You can take dance classes with YGX, craft making classes, go to SBS The Show, or make Korean liquor or kimchi. 

What do you think of the kimbap i made 😅 

@visitseoul_official 
@seoul_hallyu 

⭐️ ⭐️ 🌟 

#2023GSM #VisitSeoul #seoul #korea #kfoodcookingclass #cjthekitchen #ch더키친 #kfood #김밥 #감밥만들기 #imagineyourkorea #seoul_hallyu
🌺 flower festival season is upon us 🌸 Cher 🌺 flower festival season is upon us 🌸 

Cherry blossoms are probably the most famous flower festival that happens across the country (there are some amazing spots in seoul for seeing them) - but there are a lot of other festivals for different flowers too! 
(I have them saved on my naver maps under orange hearts so that I can see them easily) 

At the moment, canola flowers (유채꽃) are in full bloom (they’re a spring flower in Korea) and there are a couple of great places to see them in all their glory in Seoul. 

One of them is Seorae Island (서래섬), between shinbanpo station (신반포역) and gubanpo station (구반포역). It’s a small island covered in Canola flowers, with a pretty Han river view. 

Seorae village (서래마을), the french quarter, isn’t far away either, so you can treat yourself to some french pastries after visiting, or get yourself a full picnic spread.

(Even though the festival is technically over now, you’ll still be able to see the flowers for a bit longer ^^) 

Other flower festivals happening soon are: 

🥀 rose festival in jungnang-gu (중랑구) 
🥀 seoul grand park rose garden festival 

📌 서래섬 - about a 15 minute walk from 구반포역 exit 2, or 신반포역 exit 1 
(40 Sinbanpo-to 11-gil, Seocho-gu, Seoul)
🌼 The festival runs from may 12-21st and entry is free! 

@visitseoul_official 
💐🌸🌺💐🌸🥰💐🌺💐🌺

#2023GSM #visitseoul #seoul #korea #유채꽃 #유채꽃축제 #유채꽃밭🌼 #서래섬 #canolafields #flowerfestival #lifeinkorea #springinseoul #한강공원 #whatfiiwore #cottagecoreaesthetic 

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